—Stephanie G., Mount Royal University, Alberta
This age-old question has been around since, well, since we’ve had relationships! It’s relatively easy to take one another for granted and stop appreciating each other. People can get stuck in routines and have difficulty remembering to have fun together.
There are many great ideas to get the “spark” back. Here are a few:
- Discuss “your story;” how you started your relationship
- Do something together you haven’t done before (if it’s sexual, you obviously need consent from everyone involved)
- Discuss what you appreciate and admire about each other
- Be intentional about spending quality time together; be sure to make time for connecting with one another
- If you’re comfortable, discuss your fantasies together; see if you’re interested in exploring any of them
- Slow down and take time to look into each other’s eyes and see the person you had a spark for
- Do something simple for your partner, such as leaving a loving or sexy note
- Notice the little things that you each do for the other—and tell one another that you appreciate it
- Discuss what you like about each other; this can be as simple as a smile
Keep in mind that relationships have their ups and downs, which means our feelings can change over time. Just because a spark may not be currently present doesn’t mean that it won’t be rekindled at a later date.