Sexual relationships involve emotional vulnerability. We asked more than 300 students how they feel about this and how they protect themselves from potential hurt.
1 in 3 students (67 percent) pointed to the value of clear communication:
“It does become a problem when the people have two different thoughts on the situation. Like one being in it just for the sex but the other one would want a relationship.”
—Nathanael T., second-year undergraduate, Park University, Missouri
“It’s very special to open up to someone in this way, and as a result, I am more emotionally vulnerable. That just means it’s easier to talk about deep topics, socialize with others, and open up to the world around me.”
—Daryn O., first-year undergraduate, Metropolitan State University of Denver
More than half of students (56 percent) said they manage their expectations:
“If one is able to [develop] a set of expectations that are not too high, there could not be any chance of excess vulnerability.”
—Heidi M., third-year undergraduate, University of Maine
4 out of 10 students (43 percent) said they’ve learned from difficult experiences and bring that knowledge
to future relationships:
“I was with a guy that wasn’t right for me, and I didn’t have the clarity of mind to see all the reasons to leave because of the hold he had on me based on our sexual activity. I would characterize that as emotionally vulnerable. I’m much stronger without him.”
—Amber F.*, fourth-year undergraduate student, Wayne State College, Nebraska
3 out of 10 students stay abstinent or avoid
sexual activity:
“No, I honestly haven’t [experienced vulnerability from sex]. I’m at the end of a six-month vow of celibacy.”
—Tomas D*., fifth-year undergraduate student, Towson University, Maryland
About 15 percent of students said they almost deliberately don’t invest in the relationship:
“I do not get attached to many people. They come and go, and that’s life.”
—Nickolas R., second-year undergraduate, Illinois State University
* Name changed for privacy
Other strategies that students use:
| Specific strategies for managing difficult feelings, such as mindfulness techniques |
30% |
| Talking with trusted friends or family members | 52% |
| Talking with a counselor | 13% |
Source: Student Health 101 survey, January 2015
