9 ways to stop buying stuff you don’t need (and what to spend on instead)

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Dilemma: You only have $40 left this month after restocking your grocery staples. You want to join your roommate for an outdoor rock climbing course, but you’re also excited about a new pair of shoes that you just put in your online shopping basket. Your account balance says it’s either the shoes or the climbing course. How do you decide?

Ultimately, we all get to choose how we spend our disposable income, even if there’s not much of it. And it’s our experiences, not our possessions, that tend to make up our main source of happiness and our sense of who we are. In a recent CampusWell survey of more than 3,000 students, many of you agreed—nearly 70 percent of respondents said they felt more long-lasting happiness from spending money on experiences (e.g., travel, entertainment) rather than on material goods (e.g., clothes, gadgets). 

There is one caveat, though. According to three studies published in Psychological Science in 2018, those with low incomes who lack access to basic resources may feel equally happy—or even more so—from spending on material purchases vs. spending on experiences. That said, having great experiences and sharing them with the people closest to us is a well-documented source of fulfillment for us all. 

“Who you are is the sum of your experiences, not the sum of your things,” says Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, distinguished professor and social psychologist at the University of California, Riverside, and author of The Myths of Happiness. 

OK, we get it: The adrenaline of climbing trumps the new shoes. Being suspended from a cliff face with like-minded thrill seekers is what will shape you, help you connect with others, and leave you with stories worth sharing. The shoes are cool, but your excitement about them will probably wear off within a couple of weeks. In this scenario, climbing wins. 

“Even though [our things] last physically, it’s our experiences that live on in the identity we form and the connections we make,” says Dr. Thomas Gilovich, happiness researcher and professor of psychology at Cornell University in Ithaca, New York.

For nine ways to spend your money (and your time) on what will expand your identity and happiness—instead of your clutter—read on. 

1. Choose experiences that contribute to your awesomeness

Trying something new, pushing yourself, developing a skill—these experiences are usually worth the investment. 

“I spent money on going to a chess tournament,” says Dennis G., a fourth-year student at the University of Washington in Seattle. “It was fun to meet other people and play stronger players. I was in the open section and I learned how to improve my game.”

Your everyday routine may provide less gratification than trying something outside of the box, experts say. “Think about the experience of watching TV and having an identity of ‘I’m a TV watcher.’ How gratifying is that? Not terribly,” says Dr. Gilovich. “But if you’re out in the wilderness camping with friends and have the identity of ‘I’m adventurous,’ that’s likely to be very gratifying.” 

2. Before you click “buy,” ask yourself three questions

• Shape: How likely is it that this purchase will shape who I am, help me grow and learn, or help me see myself in a positive way?
• Connect: How likely is it that this purchase will expand my social circle or strengthen my relationships? 
• Share: How likely is it that I will remember and tell spectacular stories about this purchase?

“I took a trip to the Dominican Republic with my partner and I got to experience a different culture and meet more of her family, which I feel helped me grow closer to her.”
—Tom H.*, recent graduate, University of Rhode Island, South Kingstown

3. Look for ways to connect face-to-face 

Start a hiking group that meets on weekends, or join a tennis league. If you’re a big reader, try a book club to add the social element. Sometimes, we need to purchase items in order to access formative experiences. Those hiking boots or the latest book in the Legacy of Orisha series will set you up for self-discovery and maybe new friends. “The social aspect is really one of the keys to happiness,” says Dr. Lyubomirsky. “Shared experiences can do a lot, and people can anticipate and reminisce about them together.”

4. Cherish the good times

This is totally free and can boost your happy feelings. Record your thoughts, insights, memories, and stories in a place you can revisit—like a journal, blog, or note-keeping app. Print some of your photos (yes, you can still do that) and keep them visible so you recall those good times. 

“I spent money to go to a fair—it was very fun, and I got to spend time with my boyfriend. There were so many things that happened that day where we both can look back on it and smile, laugh, and just remember the [good] times.”
—Dora A., fourth-year student, Texas Woman’s University, Denton

5. Value experiences that don’t cost a whole lot

Good news: “A lot of experiences that provide happiness aren’t very expensive,” says Dr. Gilovich. 

Look within and beyond your campus walls: Find parks, trails, beaches, pools, cafés, and so on. “Take advantage of these settings for a gratifying break from the grind that school can be,” says Dr. Gilovich.

Can’t afford to hike the Inca trail? Reading about an experience looks much the same on brain scans as actually having that experience, according to a study in the Annual Review of Psychology. Bonus points: Reading builds our empathy (enhancing our relationships) and emotional health, and puts us into a relaxed, meditative state, studies show. 

6. Ask yourself: Am I stressed, bummed out, worried about money, intoxicated, cranky, or bored? 

Then be wary of shopping—you’re more likely to make impulsive purchases and experience buyer’s remorse, according to research. Shopping is best done with a calm mind. The pleasure of new items also fades quickly, according to a study in the Journal of Positive Psychology. Researchers found that things you buy may become associated with regret, negative comparisons, and envy. 

7. Consider the downsides of more stuff

Possessions cost time—as in the time you had to work to make the money to pay for them. Plus, stuff often doesn’t last: Phones fall in toilets, joggers rip in unfortunate places, and expensive gadgets can break or be stolen, which is all pretty stressful.

Possessions can also quickly turn into clutter. In studies, clutter is associated with higher levels of the stress hormone cortisol, a depressed mood, and a reduction in our ability to remember things clearly.

8. Do your research before you buy 

You do need some things, of course, like shoes (though you probably don’t need all eight pairs). When students researched a product before buying, they experienced less buyer’s remorse, according to a study conducted by a researcher at Kansas State University. 

“Buying a high quality item would save [you] more time and money than if [you] were to purchase multiples of the cheaper alternative.”
—Bea A., third-year student, University of California, Berkeley

9. Declutter 

The pleasure of a clean, organized space may make it easier to stop buying things you don’t need. Plus, research shows that a cluttered home can have a negative impact on our well-being. Marie Kondo, author of the bestselling book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, recommends pulling out everything you own and asking yourself, “Does it spark joy?” Yes? Keep. No? Donate or try to recycle.

*Name changed