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If you have experienced sexual assault or harassment, or you’re helping a friend who has, you should know that there isn’t one “right” way to proceed. In fact, you have many options.
Sometimes, people think that there is a right way to proceed: that survivors of “real” or “serious” assaults always report to the police. Survivors and experts in the field tell us that this isn’t the case, as does the data. In fact, the majority of people who experience a sexual assault do not report it. According to Statistics Canada, only 6 percent of those who experience sexual assault report it to the police. A survey of 160,000 students conducted by the Council of Ontario universities found that just over 46 percent disclosed their sexual assault, stalking, or harassment experience to someone. For those who told someone, 97.8 percent reported telling a friend, family member, or roommate, and 9.4 percent told a representative at their institution. The most common reason cited for not reporting to their school was, “not thinking it was serious enough.”
“There are many reasons someone who has been sexually assaulted wouldn’t want to come forward,” says Antwon Martin, Communications Coordinator at The SAFE Alliance in Austin, Texas, which provides prevention programming, housing, and support to people who have experienced violence or abuse. Some survivors are looking for legal or disciplinary resources, while some find that the help of therapists or friends meets their needs. Others may not be sure what choices are available to them. These routes aren’t mutually exclusive, and people may choose different options at different times. “You do not have to report to law enforcement to receive support and services,” says Martin.
Where to find help after a sexual assault
Whether and how to report an experience of sexual assault or harassment is a deeply personal choice, and people’s feelings about reporting can change over time. In all cases, survivors and their loved ones should know that there are many options available, even if you aren’t sure that what you experienced constitutes sexual assault or harassment. Crisis centres (see below) are usually a good place to start, as they are confidential and can explain the range of available options. “Many sexual assault services are for people who experienced sexual violence at any point in their life, not just in the immediate aftermath of a rape,” says Martin.
Here are some of the options that are available to you. You can find more detailed information about these resources in our article “Where and how to get professional help after sexual assault.”
Sexual assault response centres
Crisis centres, such as sexual assault centres, are confidential. “Someone may want to talk to a campus crisis centre or hotline to discuss what options are available to them. They may [want] to know more about what medical or mental health care is available,” says Martin.
“I went to my school’s Dating, Domestic, and Sexual Violence Coordinator and talked to her a few times. She helped me come to terms with it and understand what I was feeling and why,” says Katharine B.*, a first-year undergraduate at Mount Royal University in Calgary, Alberta.
Medical and mental health professionals
Crisis centres can help connect you with medical and mental health professionals. Shortly after an assault, medical professionals can provide care as necessary (e.g., testing for sexually transmitted infections, emergency contraception) and can collect forensic evidence (sometimes called a “rape kit”) if desired. Mental health professionals can offer coping strategies and can provide ongoing support such as counselling or therapy.
“Therapy really helped, particularly group therapy, where I was able to talk to others who had dealt with similar issues. Being able to talk to someone who really understood what I was dealing with helped me to feel that I was not alone,” says Danielle M.*, a second-year graduate student at Texas A&M University in Corpus Christi.
Police
The police can explain survivors’ legal options, investigate what happened, and sometimes prosecute the perpetrator.
“I told my friends what had happened a week or two later, and we went to public safety immediately,” says Rachel G.*, a fourth-year undergraduate at Kutztown University of Pennsylvania.
Friends and family
Most survivors choose to share their experience with close friends or family members. As with any other experience, the people we care about most can provide us with long-term support and kindness.
“I spoke to a friend who is very close to me. It helped incredibly as it solidified that [what happened] was not acceptable and to call for help if it were to ever occur again,” says Mary S.*, a fifth-year undergraduate at Utah State University in Logan.
Religious and community leaders
Some survivors choose to share their experiences with a trusted member of their community, such as a religious leader or a community leader (e.g., the leader of an LGBTQ2S+ support group or a campus intercultural centre).
“I went to church,” says Sarah L.*, a fifth-year student at Clemson University in South Carolina.
*Name changed
Anti-violence centres: Canadian Association of Sexual Assault Centres
No means no campaign: Canadian Federation of Students
The facts about sexual assault and harassment: Canadian Women’s Foundation
Sexual violence: Ontario Coalition of Rape Crisis Centres
Resources about sexual violence: Draw The Line
How to support someone who has experienced sexual violence: University of Manitoba
What to say when your friend’s been sexually assaulted: CampusWell
Antwon Martin, Communications Coordinator, The SAFE Alliance, Austin, Texas.
Adams Porter, C. (2020, February 5). What is the Title IX office and how can it help me? CampusWell. https://default.campuswell.com/what-is-title-ix/
Cantor, D., Fisher, B., Chibnall, S. H., Harps, S., et al. (2020). Report on the AAU campus climate survey on sexual assault and sexual misconduct. The Association of American Universities. https://www.aau.edu/sites/default/files/AAU-Files/Key-Issues/Campus-Safety/Revised%20Aggregate%20report%20%20and%20appendices%201-7_(01-16-2020_FINAL).pdf.
Council of Ontario Universities. (2018). Student voices on sexual violence survey results. https://ontariosuniversities.ca/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/COU-Overview-of-Survey-FindingsFinal.pdf
Hersh, E., Berrington, L., & Adams Porter, C. (2019, May 15). Where and how to get professional help after sexual assault. CampusWell. https://default.campuswell.com/getting-help-after-sexual-assault/
National Health Service. (2021, October 22). Help after rape and sexual assault. https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/sexual-health/help-after-rape-and-sexual-assault/
Statistics Canada. (2021, August 25). Criminal victimization in Canada, 2019. https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/pub/85-002-x/2021001/article/00014-eng.htm
USC Suzanne Dworak-Peck School of Social Work. (2018, October 25). 6 things to do after you’ve been sexually assaulted. https://dworakpeck.usc.edu/news/6-things-to-do-after-youve-been-sexually-assaulted
