Student advocate: boy with hood over his head
Read time: 8 min

One in six men in the US is sexually assaulted before age 18, according to studies from the 1980s to the early 2000s, and about seven percent of men reported being sexually assaulted while attending college, according to a 2015 study by the Washington Post and the Kaiser Family Foundation. Those men can experience complex barriers to talking about the assaults and seeking help.

Many of the challenges are defined by social pressure, including the false ideas that sexual assault makes them less masculine, that women can’t assault men, or that “real men” don’t talk about, let alone get help for, painful experiences. Faculty, staff, parents, and other supporters can make this conversation more effective by validating male students’ experiences and letting them make choices about what to do next.

Allow students to make their own decisions about what they want to do

Don’t push students who’ve experienced sexual violence to any particular course of action. One reason that sexual violence is so harmful is that it takes away people’s autonomy. By allowing students who’ve experienced sexual violence to make their own choices, you’re putting power back in their hands.

How to talk about the sexual assault of men

  • Avoid pronouns that assume the gender of the perpetrator.
  • Make clear that you’re not making presumptions about the survivor’s experience based on his identity, especially his sexual orientation or gender identity. “Signal your openness to hearing a more complex narrative, about, for example, ‘people of all genders,’” says Dr. Melanie Boyd, assistant dean of student affairs at Yale University in Connecticut.
  • Some people don’t use the word “rape” or “assault” to describe what may seem to be sexual violence, or relate to the terms “victim” or “survivor.” It’s not your job to apply those words to his experience.

Promote campus and community resources

Make sure your students are aware of campus and community resources that can support them if they (or a friend) experience sexual violence. Emphasize that these resources are available for students who aren’t sure if their experiences qualify as sexual misconduct or for students who are concerned about a friend.

Here’s how other colleges and universities are addressing it

  • The Princeton SHARE Center’s website shows the wide range of choices available to students who’ve experienced sexual misconduct in a simple, clear layout. This lets students know that they can reach out for help without fear of being pressured into a certain course of action.
  • Grand Rapids Community College uses a video to explain the Title IX reporting system step by step. The video approach makes university resources seem more personal, accessible, and easy to understand.
  • Colorado State University’s Women and Gender Advocacy Center’s website gives helpful advice to students supporting survivors. This gives students tools to help their friends and signals that the university is a supportive space.
Get help or find out more
Article sources

Bella Alarcon, bilingual clinician, Boston Area Rape Crisis Center, Massachusetts.

Melanie Boyd, PhD, assistant dean in student affairs; lecturer in women’s, gender, and sexuality studies, Yale University, Connecticut.

Jim Hopper, PhD, independent consultant and clinical instructor in psychology, Department of Psychiatry, Harvard Medical School, Massachusetts.

1in6. (n.d.). Sorting it out for himself. Retrieved from https://1in6.org/family-and-friends/sorting-it-out-for-himself/

Abelson, M. J. (2014). Dangerous privilege: Trans men, masculinities, and changing perceptions of safety. Sociological Forum, 29(3), 549–570. https://doi.org/10.1111/socf.12103

Anderson, N., & Clement, S. (2015, June 12). Poll shows that 20 percent of women are sexually assaulted in college. Washington Post. Retrieved from https://www.washingtonpost.com/sf/local/2015/06/12/1-in-5-women-say-they-were-violated/

Anderson, S. S., Hendrix, S., Anderson, N., & Brown, E. (2015, June 12). Male survivors of sex assaults often fear they won’t be taken seriously. Washington Post. Retrieved from https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/education/male-victims-often-fear-they-wont-be-taken-seriously/2015/06/12/e780794a-f8fe-11e4-9030-b4732caefe81_story.html

Beres, M. A. (2014). Rethinking the concept of consent for anti-sexual violence activism and education. Feminism & Psychology, 24(3), 373–389.

Beres, M. A., Herold, E., & Maitland, S. B. (2004). Sexual consent behaviors in same-sex relationships. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 33(5), 475–486.

Brenner, A. (2013). Transforming campus culture to prevent rape: The possibility and promise of restorative justice as a response to campus sexual violence. Harvard Journal of Law and Gender. Retrieved from https://harvardjlg.com/2013/10/transforming-campus-culture-to-prevent-rape-the-possibility-and-promise-of-restorative-justice-as-a-response-to-campus-sexual-violence/

Carmody, M. (2003). Sexual ethics and violence prevention. Social & Legal Studies, 12(2), 199–216. https://doi.org/10.1177/0964663903012002003

Catalano, S. (2013). Intimate partner violence: Attributes of victimization, 1993–2011. Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS). Retrieved from https://www.bjs.gov/index.cfm?ty=pbdetail&iid=4801

Colorado State University. (n.d.). A Guide for supporting survivors of sexual assault. Retreived from https://wgac.colostate.edu/supporting-survivors

Crome, S. (2006). Male survivors of sexual assault and rape. Australian Institute of Family Studies. Retrieved from https://aifs.gov.au/publications/male-survivors-sexual-assault-and-rape

Crome, S. A., & McCabe, M. P. (2001). Adult rape scripting within a victimological perspective. Aggression and Violent Behavior, 6(4), 395–413.

Davies, M., Gilston, J., & Rogers, P. (2012). Examining the relationship between male rape myth acceptance, female rape myth acceptance, victim blame, homophobia, gender roles, and ambivalent sexism. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 27(14), 2807–2823.

Davies, M., & Rogers, P. (2006). Perceptions of male victims in depicted sexual assaults: A review of the literature. Aggression and Violent Behavior, 11(4), 367–377.

Dube, S. R., Anda, R. F., Whitfield, C. L., Brown, D. W., et al. (2005). Long-term consequences of childhood sexual abuse by gender of victim. American Journal of Preventive Medicine, 28(5), 430–438. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.amepre.2005.01.015

Gavey, N., & Schmidt, J. (2011). “Trauma of rape” discourse: A double-edged template for everyday understandings of the impact of rape? Violence Against Women, 17(4), 433–456.

Gavey, N., Schmidt, J., Braun, V., Fenaughty, J., et al. (2009). Unsafe, unwanted: Sexual coercion as a barrier to safer sex among men who have sex with men. Journal of Health Psychology, 14(7), 1021–1026.

Graham, R. (2006). Male rape and the careful construction of the male victim. Social & Legal Studies, 15(2), 187–208.

Grand Rapids Community College. (n.d). Step-by-step. Retrieved from
https://www.grcc.edu/studentaffairs/sexualmisconduct/stepbystep

Harrell, M. C., Castaneda, L. W., Adelson, M., Gaillot, S., et al. (2009). A compendium of sexual assault research. RAND Corporation. Retrieved from https://www.rand.org/content/dam/rand/pubs/technical_reports/2009/RAND_TR617.pdf

Hopper, J. W. (2015, June 23). Why many rape victims don’t fight or yell. Washington Post. Retrieved from https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/grade-point/wp/2015/06/23/why-many-rape-victims-dont-fight-or-yell/

Kozlowska, K., Walker, P., McLean, L., & Carrive, P. (2015). Fear and the defense cascade: Clinical implications and management. Harvard Review of Psychiatry, 23(4), 263–287.

Maine Coalition Against Sexual Violence. (n.d.). Sexual violence against LGBTQQI populations. Retrieved from https://www.mecasa.org/index.php/special-projects/lgbtqqi

Masters, N. T. (2010). “My strength is not for hurting”: Men’s anti-rape websites and their construction of masculinity and male sexuality. Sexualities, 13(1), 33–46.

Monk-Turner, E., & Light, D. (2010). Male sexual assault and rape: Who seeks counseling? Sexual Abuse: A Journal of Research and Treatment, 22(3), 255–265.

Paulk, L. (2014, April 30). Sexual assault in the LGBT community. National Center for Lesbian Rights. Retrieved from https://www.nclrights.org/sexual-assault-in-the-lgbt-community/

RAND Office of Media Relations. (n.d.). Complete results from major survey of US military sexual assault, harassment released. Retrieved from https://www.rand.org/news/press/2015/05/01.html

Rothman, E. F., Exner, D., & Baughman, A. L. (2011). The prevalence of sexual assault against people who identify as gay, lesbian, or bisexual in the United States: A systematic review. Trauma, Violence & Abuse, 12(2), 55–66.

Sleath, E., & Bull, R. (2010). Male rape victim and perpetrator blaming. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 25(6), 969–988.

Stanko, E. A., & Hobdell, K. (1993). Assault on men: Masculinity and male victimization. British Journal of Criminology, 33(3), 400–415.

Strauss, V. (2014, August 29). Does “restorative justice” in campus sexual assault cases make sense? Washington Post. Retrieved from https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/answer-sheet/wp/2014/08/29/does-restorative-justice-in-campus-sexual-assault-cases-make-sense/

Walters, M. L., Chen, J., & Breiding, M. J. (2013). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2010 findings on victimization by sexual orientation. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/nisvs_sofindings.pdf

Weiss, K. G. (2010). Male sexual victimization examining men’s experiences of rape and sexual assault. Men and Masculinities, 12(3), 275–298.

Willis, D. G. (2009). Male-on-male rape of an adult man: A case review and implications for interventions. Journal of the American Psychiatric Nurses Association, 14(6), 454–461.

Tom Adams is the Director of Yale’s Office of Gender & Campus Culture and Alcohol and Other Drugs Harm Reduction Initiative. Tom holds a Master’s Degree in school counseling from Boston College.