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Whether weâre taking an online class, catching up with friends, reading the news, checking our favorite Reddit thread, or watching videos of baby pandas sneezing, we all spend a lot of time online. Our online communities are full of opportunities for connection, sharing, and positivity, but sometimes we may encounter negativity and downright nastiness, to put it mildly.
We can all play a role in shaping online communities in which everyone can thrive. Disrespect and harassment are less likely when digital spaces reflect our values. For example, building supportive communities makes sexual harassment and violence less likely. Creating respectful spaces online is a critical part of these efforts. So how do we make the online communities we participate in feel more positive, especially in an era where we might feel particularly divided? And how do we respond when we see negative posts in a group page weâre in charge of? Or when we notice a hurtful comment in a community we participate in?
Whether you have a leadership role in an online space or youâre just a casual participant, thereâs plenty you can do to help keep things positive.
Hereâs how to use your role to create the online space you want
If you create, manage, or moderate an online space, you have a key role to play in building a supportive community. But being a member matters just as much. You get to model and shape the online community you participate in. Hereâs a four-step guide to making it workâno matter your role.
For leaders
Whether youâre starting a new group or taking over an existing one, start by reflecting on your goals.
Consider the following questions:
Itâs essential to define your goals even if your group is small and informal. For example: Imagine that you create a GroupMe for the people living on your res hall floor. The following goals could take the group in three very different directions and would call for different leadership:
For members
Goals matter for members too. In fact, knowing what they are and communicating them effectively sets the tone for the rest of the group. This doesnât have to be formal. Itâs about having a shared purpose.
Think about this: If you share a group chat with your friends from high school, whatâs your purpose for doing so? How can you make sure others are on board? Your personal goal might be to stay in touch while building stronger connections with everyone. What are some small steps you can take to reach this goal?
By actively engaging in the group in a positive way, youâre setting an example for other members. A significant body of research shows that when we believe our peers expect us to behave a certain way, weâre more likely to behave that way (this is called social norms theory). This means that when weâre positive and donât tolerate harmful behavior in an online setting, it sets the tone for others to follow suit.
For leaders
Explicitly communicate your expectations. People are surprisingly attentive to group guidelines. A 2016 analysis of the Reddit thread r/science (which has more than 13 million subscribers) found that posting page rules increased usersâ compliance with the rules and even increased the number of comments made by newcomers on certain posts.
âIt’s important that the standard be set right from the beginning that mistreatment of any kind will not be tolerated,â says Dr. Justin Patchin, professor of criminal science at the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire and codirector of the Cyberbullying Research Center.
How you can put this into practice
Letâs say you take over the Facebook page of a campus multicultural center with several hundred members. How might you create guidelines for the group?
Itâs also important to create guidelines for informal groups. If you created a small Facebook group for your friends in the multicultural center, you could casually communicate your expectations. Try statements like:
For members
Point out behaviors that positively reinforce your group standards and support the community guidelinesâyou can keep it casual. This sets the expectation that people will interact in positive ways. Try out statements such as, âItâs awesome how we can disagree without things getting ugly.â
For leaders
Itâs easiest to take action at the first sign of disrespect or someone behaving outside of the group guidelines. Donât wait for problems to escalate before you step in.
Just like in social situations or in the classroom, you can practice bystander intervention by stepping in to address disrespect and prevent harm. In a 2015 study of adolescents and young adults, bystanders stepped in at similar rates when someone was being harassed online as they did when an incident happened in person (Journal of Youth and Adolescence). In fact, bystanders were most likely to step in when someone was being harassed both in person and online.
What this might look like
Imagine that you’re the moderator of an online study group. You all use the group to share study tips, ask questions, and set up times to work together. One day, the posts start to stray from the class material to people complaining about the course and insulting the professorâs looks. How do you handle it?
Try privately messaging the people involved, or leave a comment of your own. Assuming good intent can make these conversations easier. For example:
Private messages
Comments to redirect the group
For members
Itâs not just the leaderâs responsibility to uphold community standards; itâs on you as a community member to redirect group members who fall short of your goals. It can be as easy as asking a different question.
Hereâs how you might step in as a community member in the study group scenario:
For leaders
What can you do if serious disrespect, harassment, or hateful behavior emerges in an online space that you manage?
For example, imagine you’re managing a student publicationâs website. Debate in the comments section is usually respectful. One day, a regular commenter calls another a slur. Here are four options for how to intervene:
1) Delete the harmful content, and consider banning the commenter.
âDelete the person whose posts are negative. By proactively doing this, [you show] that [you] have had enough and will not engage in their negative and hurtful behaviors.â
âRoss Ellis, founder and CEO of STOMP Out Bullying, a national bullying and harassment prevention organization
âIf [people] see hurtful posts quickly removed and frequent violators banned, this will set the tone that online abuse is not allowed here.â
âDr. Patchin
2) Reach out to the people who were targeted.
Write to the targeted commenter. Let them know that you have deleted the content, you support them, and offer to direct them to university resources.
3) Report the incidentâif the targeted person wishes that you do so.
Consider reporting the behavior to a campus official, such as a dean. Check with the person who was targeted to ask for their permission first.
4) Reiterate your group expectations.
After you have dealt with the harm, work with other members of the publication team to refocus on your core goals.
For members
What if you see this happening in an online community youâre a part of? As an active member of the community, stepping in reinforces the standards of the whole group and sends the message that this behavior isnât tolerated here. Hereâs how to do it:
âAt the beginning of the year, we have a discussion about what’s appropriate to post and what isn’t. If something negative is posted, it’s removed, and we have a discussion with the person who posted.â
âJeanette A., fourth-year undergraduate, Kutztown University, Pennsylvania
âItâs not a controversial forum. We have rules, but we’re relaxed and work together in a group rather than talk about conflicting ideas.â
âEliot A., recent graduate, Metropolitan State University of Denver
âI monitor the page though my manager app that I’ve installed on my phone. I posted guidelines and must approve all comments and posts before they’re allowed to be posted. If someone complains about harassment or being messaged, I’ll check out the situation, take proper steps to stop it, and prevent it in the future.â
âAngel P., fourth-year undergraduate, Governors State University, Illinois
âAnything that’s posted that’s disrespectful is deleted and that person is warned through a personal message. If they continue, they’re removed from the page.â
âLeah H., third-year undergraduate, Northern Illinois University
Strategies developed by the Communication and Consent Educator program at Yale University.
[school_resource sh101resources=’no’ category=’mobileapp,counselingservices, studentservices’] Get help or find out more
Tips on writing community guidelines for social media groups: Vervely
A guide to building community in online courses: George Washington University
Bystander intervention: Yale University
Practical strategies for building digital community: Massachusetts Institute of Technology
Ross Ellis, founder and CEO of STOMP Out Bullying, a national bullying and harassment prevention organization.
Justin Patchin, PhD, professor of criminal science at the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire and codirector of the Cyberbullying Research Center.
Awwad, H. (2017, June 1). Virtual abuse? How to build a positive online community. Student Health 101. Retrieved from https://publicsite.readsh101.net/virtual-abuse/
Banyard, V. L., Plante, E. G., & Moynihan, M. M. (2004). Bystander education: Bringing a broader community perspective to sexual violence prevention. Journal of Community Psychology, 32(1), 61â79.
Bazelon, E. (2013). Sticks and stones: Defeating the culture of bullying and rediscovering the power of character and empathy. Random House Incorporated.
Brody, N., & Vangelisti, A. L. (2016). Bystander intervention in cyberbullying. Communication Monographs, 83(1), 94â119.
Cheng, J., Bernstein, M., Danescu-Niculescu-Mizil, C., & Lescovec, J. (2017). Anyone can become a troll: Causes of trolling behavior in online discussions. CSCW â17: Proceedings of the 2017 ACM Conference on Computer Supported Cooperative Work and Social Computing, 1217â1230. Retrieved from https://dl.acm.org/citation.cfm?doid=2998181.2998213
Cialdini, R. B., Kallgren, C. A., & Reno, R. R. (1991). A focus theory of normative conduct: A theoretical refinement and reevaluation of the role of norms in human behavior. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 24, 201â234.
Jones, L. M., Mitchell, K. J., & Turner, H. A. (2015). Victim reports of bystander reactions to in-person and online peer harassment: A national survey of adolescents. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 44(12), 2308â2320.
LaMorte, W. W. (2016). Social norms theory. Boston University. Retrieved from https://sphweb.bumc.bu.edu/otlt/MPH-Modules/SB/BehavioralChangeTheories/BehavioralChangeTheories7.html
Lenhart, A., Madden, M., Smith, A., Purcell, K., et al. (2011). Teens, kindness and cruelty on social network sites: How American teens navigate the new world of âdigital citizenship.â Pew Internet & American Life Project.
Matias, J. N. (2016, October 8). Posting rules in online discussions prevents problems and increases participation. Civil Servant. Retrieved from https://civilservant.io/moderation_experiment_r_science_rule_posting.html
Perkins, H. W., Craig, D. W., & Perkins, J. M. (2011). Using social norms to reduce bullying: A research intervention among adolescents in five middle schools. Group Processes & Intergroup Relations, 14(5), 703â722.
Ren, Y., Kraut, R., Kiesler, S., & Resnick, P. (2012). Encouraging commitment in online communities. Building successful online communities: Evidence-based social design, 77â124.
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Most of us have witnessed online harassment. For that matter, most of us report that weâve experienced it, according to surveys. Young adults are the most likely to be abused online. That experience can make it harder for students to attend class or concentrate on learning, according to a survey by Hollaback!, a coalition to prevent harassment. Online harassment can raise the risk of suicide in adults who are already experiencing emotional or situational stress, according to a 2011 study in Educational Leadership.
How can you respond if you or a friend is harassed online? How can you make sure your own online presence is positive? The prevalence of trolling, roasting, stalking, and other forms of harassment gives us all opportunities to intervene. Online behavior is contagious, studies show. We are all well positioned to model respectful behavior on social networks, influence a comment thread thatâs veering toward abuse, and help build more positive online spaces in which everyone can participate freely. Leaders in the tech industry have our backs on this as they work to make online spaces more accommodating for all. For six steps to keeping the cyber-peace, see below. For resources and tools, see Get help or find out more. For guidance on how to argue constructively online and off, see Tame the tension: Science-backed ways to talk it out in this issue.
Online harassment includes one-time incidents as well as cases of cyberbullying that unfold over months or years. It includes attacks based on race, ethnicity, gender, sexuality, religion, appearance, and more. Severe harassment online has been linked to notorious controversies, such as âGamerGate,â when harassers targeted women in the video game industry. In a polarized political environment that has seen documented increases in hate crimes, online harassment has made for alarming headlines, as when the writer Milo Yiannopoulos was banned from Twitter for inciting racist abuse.
Online harassment takes various forms:
Some communities are targeted by cyberbullying more frequently than others. Young people, women, and LGBT youth report especially high rates of harassment online. Hereâs what that looks like:
Online harassment and cyberbullying have widespread and well-documented consequences. For example:
Not all online harassers have antisocial traits such as lacking empathy. Even ordinary people (who donât have personality issues) can be induced to troll in certain circumstances, researchers from Cornell University, New York, found. Hereâs what can drive us to trolling:
In the online environment, we can choose to be anonymous, a factor that lowers the behavioral bar. That can make it easier for even those of us who are generally well- intentioned to dish out sarcasm or insults, and disconnect from othersâ feelings. In our survey, many students acknowledged that theyâd done this and regretted it.
The research paints a predictably unflattering picture of some habitual online harassers. Perpetrators may be motivated by the following:
The majority of our online presence is communal. Every contribution we make adds to the overall tone of the online space. Kindness is contagious. By engaging respectfully with others, you reinforce the expectation that others do the same.
Disagreeing with a friendâs opinion or disputing someoneâs argument is all well and goodâdepending on how we go about it. For a guide to constructive arguing and how to influence someoneâs opinion, see Tame the tension: Science-backed ways to talk it out in this issue of SH101.
If you hear that you have hurt someone, apologize. Communicating digitally can sometimes obscure the very real three-dimensional people who are reading and hearing our words. Itâs important to remember that, even in the midst of heated or highly charged conversations. If the platform allows you to delete, retract, or qualify a contentious comment, do so.
If you donât know why what you said was hurtful, you can ask for clarification. To the best of your ability, do so with respect and compassion. You could say something like, âIâm sorry that I upset you with my comment. Could you tell me why that word is hurtful? I want to be sure I donât make the same mistake again.â
Resist calling people out personally with inflammatory and divisive terms. If you think a comment has racist or sexist implications, try assuming those were unintentional and pointing them out gently. By the same token, if you see yourself as a fair person and someone says that your comment was discriminatory, try to resist getting defensive. We are all coming from our own complex places. If youâve asked for clarification and didnât get it, reiterate that your intention was positive, and let it go.
Platforms and sites rely on their users to report abusive or disrespectful behavior that violates community standards. You can help create a safer environment by reporting harassment and abuse when you see or experience it.
If youâre the administrator or moderator of an online group, forum, or list, take initiative to set the tone for positive, respectful interactions. You can do so by:
In recent years, the tech industry has been taking a more active approach to preventing and addressing cyberbullying and harassment. There are several great initiatives you can learn from and support, including:
Facebookâs Bullying Prevention Hub
This online resource, developed in partnership with the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, offers information on and strategies for addressing cyberbullying. It includes detailed and practical conversation starters and step-by-step plans for students, parents, and educators looking to address a bullying incident, whether they are speaking with the person being bullied or the person inflicting the bullying. This resource also offers concrete strategies for proactively preventing online harassment and cyberbullying.
Hack Harassment
This coalition, led by Intel, Vox Media, and Lady Gagaâs Born This Way Foundation, aims to build a more inclusive and supportive online community. You can get involved and commit to building that more inclusive and supportive online community through the Hack Harassment website. There, you can sign up to be a Campus Ambassador, host a #HackHarassment hackathon, or apply for a grant to fund your own harassment-hacking project.
People who are harassed online tend to turn to trusted friends, teachers, and family members for help, according to a 2012 study in the Journal of School Violence. Receiving support, both online and off, can have a tremendously positive impact on how someone copes with and responds to online harassment. Hereâs how to go about it:
âYour goal might be to approach a friend involved in a bullying incident, but you donât know how to approach them or what to say. Or you might choose to report something that you see online that seems unsafe for one of the people involved,â says Dr. Robin Stern, associate director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence at Yale University, Connecticut.
You can reach out directly to the person experiencing harassment. Express your alarm at whatâs happened and ask what you can do to help. Bear in mind that responding with emojis or âlikesâ can sometimes be misleading.
If you see insults or attacks onlineâfor example, against a writer discussing sexual violenceâconsider contributing some positive words. Offering encouragement and support is a simple way to mitigate the effect of online harassment. Manners (good and bad) are contagious. Modeling civility and constructive commentary online can potentially dissuade others from trolling, according to a 2017 study by researchers at Cornell University. That saidâĶ
If you want to confront the aggressor or request an apology on behalf of the person whoâs been wronged, this is not a decision to make alone. Work with the targeted person and respect their wishes about how to proceed. They might prefer to not confront the aggressor, or to report the issue to the relevant site directly. Except for situations of acute danger, do not take action on their behalf if you have not been asked to do so.
âIt is important to reflect on your own feelings before talking with someone affected by a bullying incident because you want to make sure that you are in a place where you can have that conversation,â says Dr. Stern. âIf you yourself are emotionally activated, which is understandable and may well be the case, then you wonât be able to have that conversation from a place of calm. If you lower your own emotional activation, you are going to be able to more effectively help the person in the interaction regulate their own emotions.â
âIt is important to talk it through with someone you trust and who you believe is wise about this sort of thing. You might turn to a trusted peer or RA or dean who can help you think about how to approach the incident, depending on your goal,â says Dr. Stern. Tell someone you trust and who is in a position to help. Alternatively, you might report the incident to the site or platform, group administrator, or moderator. If someone is being harmed, about to be harmed, or threatening harm, take that seriously and get help immediately.
Most online platforms give you tools to curate what content you see and with whom you interact online. Explore the options available to you and decide what you share online and who can see it. These approaches can help:
Take advantage of customization tools
Online platforms frequently give you control over the level of connection you want to have with someone. You can choose to block content or people whose content you donât want to see. On some platforms, this decision can be separate from whether you remain friends with those users (e.g., on Facebook you can unfollow a personâs posts without unfriending the person).
Pick your friends
There is a lot to be said for trying to work through differences with people who hold varying opinions and making sure weâre exposed to viewpoints that are not the same as ours. However, if you are experiencing harassment from a user online, especially someone you donât know or donât have a strong relationship with off-line, you can choose to prevent that user from contacting you.
Protect your privacy
Review your privacy settings on all social media. You have control over who sees your posts and what online activity is viewable to others.
Consider making online magic
Several free software options and plugins allow you to make more customized and creative choices about what you see online. For example, Sweary mary is a Chrome Extension that replaces swear words with witty alternatives.
Be aware that not all sites are created equal
Some platforms do a better job than others of giving their users the tools and support they need to have a safe and fulfilling online experience. As an informed user, you can decide which sites you want to trust with your time and information, and which youâd rather pass on.
Infographic guide to cyberbullying: Affordable Colleges Online
How to advocate on campus: Hollaback!
Why we troll: The Conversation
Info and tools for resisting cyberbullying: Hack Harassment
Safety guides to online platforms and self-care: Hollaback!
Policies and resources: Bullying Prevention Hub/Facebook
Exploration of free speech online: Family Online Safety Institute
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Article sourcesRobin Stern, PhD, associate director, Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, Yale University, Connecticut.
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Blumenfeld, W. J., & Cooper, R. M. (2010). LGBT and allied youth responses to cyberbullying: Policy implications. International Journal of Critical Pedagogy, 3(1), 114â133.
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Divecha, D., & Stern, R. (2015, April 10). American teens are stressed and bored. It’s time to talk about feelings. Time.
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In a recent survey by SH101, close to 1,000 students described incidents of racial bias that theyâve observed or experienced, usually in school. We asked students and experts to identify the implications of key incidents and ways that we can all help relieve racial pressures (next page). In each scenario, click to see what the issue can look like in college (slide 1) and how we can all respond in ways that help (slide 2). For dynamic resources that dig deeper into these themes, see Get help or find out more.
When did you last talk about race? And how did that conversation go? Race and racial discrimination are major themes in the US, with fears and tensions heightened during the presidential transition. An overwhelming majority of students who responded to a fall CampusWell survey (93 percent) agreed that racism is a real problem. Yet race is a topic thatâs notoriously difficult to talk about without invoking accusations and defensiveness. It can be challenging both to think honestly about our own perspectives and to look through a different lens. The goal is growth, not shame.
Why is this difficult? In part, because underlying racial and ethnic discrimination is prejudice. âPrejudice becomes racism when you allow your prejudice to impact that person you donât like or respect,â says Keith Jones, a Boston-based speaker and advocate for inclusion related to race and disability. âOnce you recognize it, you understand that racism is a human behavior. None of these things are unchangeable.â
It is important to report incidents that seem to be motivated by bias based on race, ethnicity, sexuality, disability, or other factors relating to the victimâs identity. You have several reporting options.
As soon as possible after the incident, write down any and all details of the crime. Include the gender, age, height, race, weight, clothing, and other distinguishing characteristics of the perpetrator(s), and any threats or biased comments that were made. (These guidelines were developed by the Human Rights Campaign, a civl rights organization representing LGBTQ communities.)
How to file a police report (guidelines by the Human Rights Campaign)
In addition to filing a police report, you can report the crime to the FBI and your state Attorney General.
The SPLC is monitoring incidents of hate-based intimidation and harassment nationally.
âA hate crime is the violence of intolerance and bigotry, intended to hurt and intimidate someone because of their race, ethnicity, national origin, religious, sexual orientation, or disability.â
âUS Department of Justice
Hate crimes can involve the threat or reality of rape, sexual assault, or physical assault, verbal abuse, use of weapons, arson, vandalism, robbery, and attacks on homes, places of worship, and other locations. When crimes are motivated by hate, the criminal penalties can be more severe. âHate crimes are the highest priority of the FBIâs Civil Rights program,â says the Federal Bureau of Investigation (on its website).
Some racial discrimination is blatant. In the context of the presidential campaign and election, reports of hate crimes increased, say the Southern Poverty Law Center and FBI. Another type of discrimination is more common, however. Comments that carry negative implications based on race and ethnicityââmicroaggressionsââare part of everyday life for people of color. (Here, âpeople of colorâ refers to anyone who isnât whiteâalthough these incidents fall more heavily on some groups than others.) They happen in class, at our jobs and internships, on the sidewalk, while shopping, at restaurants. Weâre talking about womenâs purse-clutches when a black or Latino male walks by, and well-meaning comments that imply a low bar based on race (âYouâre so well-spoken!â). These actions sometimes reflect unconscious (or implicit) biases, research shows. âIt happens in subtle ways, especially in higher ed institutions,â says a fourth-year graduate student at the University of North Dakota.
Racial discrimination takes a psychological toll that is different from other life stressors, research shows (Journal of Counseling Psychology, 2007 & 2008). And while diversity awareness has grown on college campuses, microaggressions continue to make many students feel unwelcome, potentially harming their academic prospects, according to a 2014 study by Harvard Universityâs âVoices of Diversityâ project.
For example, black students divert considerable cognitive and emotional energy toward dealing with microaggressions, research shows (American Psychologist, 2007). This includes the dilemma of how to respond in ways that do not reinforce stereotypes. People of color who routinely encounter microaggressions are at greater risk of depression, pain, fatigue, and other health issues, according to a meta-analysis of studies in Race and Social Problems (2014).
We can STEP UP in simple ways
We can all help build an inclusive community that brings everyone closer to meeting their potentialâa community that does not tolerate casually expressed biases, false assumptions, and disrespect. Our actions need not be confrontational or divisive; they can be as simple as not laughing at a derogatory joke. Itâs also vital to listen to others, build self-awareness, and learn to tolerate the discomfort of the conversation. âSelf-reflection is a hard thing to master, but it allows us to be open,â says Jones.
“In high school, I was a straight A student, [but] certain teachers would focus on the fact I [previously] went to a school that was known for negativity. It was really hard to stay focused in environments that did not think I could succeed because of my racial background and the color of my skin.” —First-year student, Malcolm X College, Illinois
“They have discriminated and bullied me by slandering my work and saying I have only gotten here because I am Native American [via affirmative action]. I am a third-year PhD student.” —Third-year graduate student, University of California Los Angeles
Low expectations are the product of stereotypes. Keith Jones, who has won multiple awards for his achievements in community empowerment, runs into this prejudice even as he is paid to address audiences nationwide. “Off stage, they look at me, a black man in a wheelchair, as though I rolled out of a pile of manure,” he says. “Then as I’m speaking in front of the audience, they treat me as the greatest thing since sliced bread. That has nothing to do with me changing and everything to do with their perception changing.”
Research has shown conclusively that intelligence is robustly related to the environment—including the stimulation and opportunities that may or may not come our way (Psychological Bulletin, 2014). Discrimination is part of that environment. Racial stereotypes themselves generate uneven outcomes, and this starts early. For example, a 2016 study found that non-black grade school teachers had systemically low expectations of black students, especially boys (Economics of Education Review)—a bias that could shape students’ prospects in school and life, researchers said.
“I wish I could have confronted them that their responses were offensive and that many people from different ethnicities pursue STEM majors. It shouldn’t be surprising to anyone that a young Hispanic American female student is pursuing [a career as] a scientist.” —Third-year student, College of the Desert, California
“Acknowledge that it is harder for a student of color to accomplish the same task that a Caucasian person sets out to do. Take a look at the huge difference [in numbers] between students of color [and white people] earning a college degree, or how hard it is to be taken seriously in the working world as a person of color.” —Second-year student, Community College of Denver, Colorado
“Get involved in the clubs and organizations that are there to support students of color, and get to know your classmates on a deeper level.” —Third-year undergraduate, Gonzaga University, Washington
“[I hear negative] stereotypes mostly. They’re not meant to be harmful, but I try to remind them it’s a slippery slope. These aren’t bad guys: We had a conversation about how the low-key racism our parents grew up in is still instilled in their words, and to an extent is in everyone. Humans classify and divide everything, even each other.” —Second-year graduate student, Southern Alberta Institute of Technology
“I am Asian, and in anything related to academics I feel like I’m expected to be better than everyone else, and whenever I drift to average or below average it seems to be a bigger deal than it is.” —Second-year undergraduate, Illinois State University
“Positive stereotypes can lead to anxiety and depression when there is a failure to meet the expectations you may put on yourself, influenced by external forces.” —Fourth-year undergraduate, Northern Illinois University
All stereotypes erase individuality. In direct encounters, positive stereotypes are depersonalizing and divisive, according to a study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (2013). “When you use stereotypes, even if you think them positive, you are discounting the complexities of large groups of people,” says Paul Kivel, a social justice educator, activist, writer, and co-founder of the Showing Up for Racial Justice network, which helps white people organize in support of people of color (POC). Examining our own stereotypes helps us see others as individuals.
Here’s the trap: We are much more likely to tolerate positive stereotypes than negative stereotypes, according to a study in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology (2013). Those positive stereotypes reinforce the idea that racial generalizations are valid and implicitly give weight to negative generalizations too. For example, the positive stereotype of black athletes contributed to a more negative view of black people, the researchers found.
“Attempting to put someone in a cookie-cutter box that society has created is not only insulting but rather is a reflection of you and your thoughts.” —Fifth-year undergraduate, California State University San Bernadino
“Not all meaningful action has to take place within the boundaries of activism, rallies, and revolts. I live in an incredibly multicultural city [and] attend a magnificently multiethnic church. The best way to overcome racism is by being purposeful about building relationships. It might be hard or weird at first. It’s definitely awkward at times. But it is oh, so worth it.” —Fourth-year undergraduate, Humber College, Ontario
“Ask people about who they are and what they do, not if they fit into the description you’ve defined them with.” —Second-year undergraduate, Colorado School of Mines
“Learn to recognize microaggressions, and don’t be afraid to admit if you’ve done any of them. Make it a learning experience to better yourself.” —Fifth-year undergraduate, Portland State University, Oregon
“Teachers and assignments assume that people are white. They often ask questions that position students as privileged and ask what they can do to combat it. It’s great if you are privileged but very marginalizing if you aren’t.” —Fourth-year undergraduate, British Columbia
“My friend’s teachers often ask for ‘a different kind of view,’ but only look at the [people of color] in the room.” —Third-year undergraduate, Gonzaga University, Washington
“I was always viewed as the spokesperson/representative of my whole race.” —Third-year undergraduate, Queen’s University, Ontario
The culture and experiences of people of color are vastly complex and distinctive. “Spokesperson pressure” or “tokenism” denies that variation. “It is impossible for one person to offer the ‘perspective’ of an entire group,” says Dr. Carla Shedd, a Columbia University sociologist and author of Unequal City: Race, Schools, & Perceptions of Injustice (Russell Sage Foundation, 2015). “And it is unfair for teachers or students to ask an individual, especially one who may identify with or belong to an underrepresented or marginalized group, to be a group representative.”
If we assume that one story or perspective is enough, people can be dismissed as “interchangeable and undifferentiable,” says activist Paul Kivel. This is why it’s important to listen to a multitude of voices and acquaint ourselves with a variety of resources, including biographies, blogs, and film.
“You can challenge this without accusing people of racism. You can ask, what is the underlying perspective of this exercise? Is this designed to be gender- and ethnicity-neutral? Was there a particular kind of student you had in mind?” —Keith Jones, advocate for access and inclusion related to race and disability, Boston, Massachusetts
“If the conversation always steers toward how they feel as the only POC in the friend group, you’re doing it wrong.” —Second-year undergraduate, Minneapolis College of Art and Design, Minnesota
“‘Hispanic’ is very broad, as there are many different cultures in the population. Being Mexican is very different from being Puerto Rican, or Brazilian, or Columbian.” —Fourth-year undergraduate, Northern Illinois University
“We should really think about why white people do not see themselves as a race. They seldom view the construct around race as impacting them at all.” —Third-year graduate student, University of Maryland College Park
“Don’t refer to people as ‘you guys’ or ‘them,’ i.e., judging the whole group. Instead, refer to the individual.” —First-year student, Nova Scotia Community College
“Rather than ignoring race and color, value race and culture other than one’s own, learn from one another, allow bonds and teams to form that are not based on race.” —Fourth-year undergraduate, Northwest University, Washington
“This year’s required book is Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates, which discusses what it’s like to navigate being black in our world today. Most do not see value in reading it.” —Fourth-year undergraduate, Marian University Indianapolis, Indiana
“A class in Indigenous Studies was required for my teaching degree. Several students complained that it wasn’t necessary, while fundamentally misunderstanding or being completely ignorant of many of the issues discussed. Several thought indigenous people should ‘just get over’ the past.” —Second-year undergraduate, University of Victoria, British Columbia
“I’ve been in classes where people have literally said, ‘Racism doesn’t even exist anymore, like why are we even talking about this,’ and I felt like my entire life was a joke.” —Third-year undergraduate, University of Massachusetts Boston
Racial prejudice and its effects have been extensively documented. Studies and the lived experience of many people show “widespread evidence of high current levels of discrimination, harassment, exclusion, and violence directed against POC in every aspect of our society,” says activist Paul Kivel. Research continues to show how racial discrimination narrows access for POC to education, careers, legal justice, and health care. Headline-making events that undermine citizens’ sense of safety can amplify these barriers. “In the wake of the Freddie Gray trial, I became more aware of how unsafe my environment might be when I leave campus,” says a fifth-year undergraduate at the University of Maryland Baltimore County. “There have been moments when I couldn’t complete my school tasks because I was emotionally overwhelmed by social injustices.”
To those who deny the reality of racial discrimination, try asking them to prove it, says activist Keith Jones: “Before I say it does exist, show me why it doesn’t.” Real-world examples help tell the story. “If you don’t want to hear about privilege, ask yourself, what is the diversity of your student body? Also look at the space your campus is physically occupying. In Boston (my city), universities have taken over the neighborhoods that were home to multigenerational families of color.”
“Have a black male student and a white male student call Uber and see who gets to the destination first.” (Car ride passengers who have African Americanâsounding names experience longer wait times and far more cancellations than passengers with “white” names, according to the National Bureau of Economic Research, 2016.) —Keith Jones, advocate for access and inclusion related to race and disability, Boston, Massachusetts
“Students of color must be constantly thinking of their race—they’re confronted with it through microaggressions, through any history class. Listen, because while it may be easy for us to ignore race, POC don’t get that privilege.” —Fourth-year undergraduate, Notre Dame of Maryland University
“Students can look honestly at their own beliefs and prejudices and actively work toward changing. They can accept that they may be benefiting from systematic [advantages] and choose to support those of us who aren’t. They can choose to be better than their parents, better than their grandparents, and better than they were a year ago or even a month ago.” —Student, community college, US
“Don’t purposely give an unfavorable opinion about racism or racial issues just to spark anger or a debate.” —Fifth-year undergraduate, University of Colorado Denver
“Talk. It’s true that you may not know what oppression feels like, but you do know what it feels like to be in pain, and oppression hurts. Many things hurt. In discussion about needing to be there for one another, every being can be included.” —Fourth-year undergraduate, Western Washington University
“As a born Canadian, my religious and normal rights have been taken away or altered to accommodate other races or religious beliefs. They do not feel they have to accommodate mine.” —Second-year graduate student, St. Clair College, Ontario
“To be frank, the only discrimination I see is against white males who are trying to get an education and are constantly put on the bottom of the pile.” —Second-year student, Western Wyoming Community College
Comedian Aamer Rahman’s 3-minute guide to “reverse racism”
Affirmative action policies, and other attempts to address systemic racial discrimination, have fed into a belief in “reverse racism,” a 2011 study in Perspectives on Psychological Science found; such policies are viewed by some white people as a barrier to their own success. Their experience is direct and personal, for example, the scholarship for which they are not eligible.
Those frustrations, however, do not constitute systemic discrimination based on skin color (which would be racism). Robust evidence shows that historically, government policies and social norms have produced better opportunities, environments, and outcomes for some members of society than for others. People of color are vastly underrepresented through our political, legal, educational, media, and corporate institutions. Those who are prominent and successful are seen as exceptions to the norm and held up as spokespeople for their racial or ethnic group.
The disparities at the top reflect uneven opportunities below. For example, in a 2003 study, rÃĐsumÃĐs with black-sounding names received 50 percent fewer callbacks for an interview than identical rÃĐsumÃĐs with white-sounding names (American Economic Review). Similarly, racial discrimination contributes to “persistent and vexing health disadvantages” among African Americans, according to a study in the Annual Review of Psychology (2007).
“Out of 5,400+ banking institutions in the US, 5,200+ are owned by white men. Two Fortune 500 companies are headed by white women, the rest by white men. Out of 45 presidents, one has been a POC. Of all the speakers of the House and Senate majority leaders, we have yet to have a POC. When the country is almost 400 years old, that says something.” —Keith Jones, advocate for access and inclusion related to race and disability, Boston, Massachusetts
“Listening is a big step. Instead of bringing in a counterargument when a person of color talks about their experience, listen. Too many voices are silenced because of inadequate representation in media, faculty, etc.” —Third-year undergraduate, Queen’s University, Ontario
“Look at your own biases, look at your inner circle and see who is/isn’t included and why.” —Shermin Murji, MPH, health educator; doctoral student, Florida State University
“Stop insisting that ‘all lives matter’ when that’s not the issue they’re discussing with Black Lives Matter. Realize that white students are privileged even if they’ve worked hard to get where they are.” —Fifth-year undergraduate, University of Regina, Saskatchewan
“Thoughtfully recognize and listen to the arguments that systemic racism is real, acknowledging a history that continues in different and similar forms. Research epigenetics and neuropsychology—how trauma and even bias can carry throughout our lives genetically, culturally, and environmentally.” —First-year student, Red Rocks Community College, Colorado
“White people need to do the work to understand systems of oppression/harm. Don’t wait for a person of color to explain it to you.” —Fifth-year undergraduate, Wilfrid Laurier University, Ontario
“A writer for one of my university’s student publications wrote an article that mocked the microaggressions and racism that minority students experience on a daily basis. It was an April Fool’s Day article but was completely inappropriate. It included a demand that a wall be built around the campus’ Chicano/Latino community center and that one of the Chicano/Latino student groups pay for it.” —First-year graduate student, University of California Davis
“A girl working at [the movie theater] started to freak out and make jokes about a Muslim man who came into the theater, joking that she was scared he had a bomb.” —Third-year undergraduate, University of Massachusetts Lowell
“Being white allows people to say things that may seem satirical, but likely come from a biased point of view against those of another race.” —Graduate student, Clemson University, South Carolina
In studies, humor that targets certain communities has the effect of validating prejudice and discriminatory actions toward members of those communities (Personality and Social Psychology Review, 2004).
Disparaging comments “reinforce stereotypes and misinformation” and are “racist whether or not the disrespect was intentional, whether or not a member of that group was present, and whether or not it is claimed to be a joke,” says activist Paul Kivel.
Racial slurs carry pain for “those who have suffered violence behind them either today or in the past,” says Kivel. By using derogatory slurs and terms, whether as a joke or an attack, we ignore the history contained in those words. In effect, we seem to sanction that past abuse.
“Same old motto: If you see something, say something. Too many people just laugh off or ignore something that makes them uncomfortable.” —Fourth-year undergraduate, SUNY Empire State College, New York
“As an ally, it is important to call others out when they make racist remarks. #makeitawkward” —Fifth-year undergraduate, University of Victoria, British Columbia
“In such a situation, I would want to talk to the victim one-on-one, and just try to express that they weren’t treated fairly, and empathize with them.” —Second-year undergraduate, Portland State University, Oregon
“There are still instances of white students who feel comfortable throwing around certain racial epitaphs because they grew up around black peers. And it’s not OK. They [do] not truly understand the painful history and hurt and degradation behind these words.” —Fifth-year undergraduate, Old Dominion University, Virginia
“Recognize the setting: when, where, why, and what is the joke about. Comedians can use dark humor to spread awareness, to get people to understand that their jokes are filled with stories [about experiences] that are not OK.” —Fourth-year undergraduate, Western Washington University
“I have worked on many group projects with an all-Caucasian demographic except me. In those groups, I find my inputs don’t count as much as when I’m working with groups containing more minorities.” —Third-year undergraduate, University of Victoria, British Columbia
“Often I am the only African American in my classes. Other students instantly speak to and befriend the person they sit next to. For me, that rarely happens. [If] one person reached out and just said hello, simple things like that would make me feel better.” —Fifth-year undergraduate, University of Central Arkansas
“I don’t look First Nation, so I often have the opportunity to be a fly on the wall. People are just generally unaware of how exclusive they are being. I was in a class recently where everyone, including the professor, used language like ‘we’ and ‘they.’ We just don’t know, based on the color of our skin, who is part of what ethnic or cultural group.” —Third-year undergraduate, British Columbia
On an individual level, we can be immediately inclusive. “You don’t have to agree with or like everyone,” says activist Keith Jones. “Understand, however, that if you are behaving in ways that make another person’s life worse, you are compliant. You can end this. You can literally, today, decide ‘I’m never going to tolerate racism or prejudice again, ever.’”
This takes self-reflection. Racial bias is widespread in human groups and cultures—yet this does not give us an out. Bias causes varying levels of harm, depending partly on the social structure in which it occurs.
“Addressing racism means recognizing that we all have the capacity to harm, but also the opportunity to learn and grow,” says Lydia Brown, a race and disability activist and a graduate student at Northeastern University School of Law, Massachusetts. “Among Asians, being people of color doesn’t mean we are automatically exculpated forever from being anti-Black, for example. I don’t think it’s the exact same thing as when white people discriminate, but it’s not OK, whether we call it racist, biased, or bigoted.”
“I find that the more students mix with others and learn more about various cultures, the more understanding they become.” —Third-year undergraduate, University of Windsor, Ontario
“One time my friends and I were about to walk into a party. I heard one of the girls behind us say, ‘We’re black, they’re not going to let us in.’ I grabbed her hand, even though I didn’t know her, and made sure she and her friends made it into the house.” —Second-year undergraduate, St. Joseph’s University, Pennsylvania
“Participate in diversity events. Support your fellow students of color by hearing what they have to say, what they’re dealing with.” —Second-year undergraduate, Sarah Lawrence College, New York
“How many of you have joined a fraternity or sorority? Why are you thinking being part of that particular group is better than any other group?” —Keith Jones, advocate for access and inclusion related to race and disability, Boston, Massachusetts
“At times when I felt excluded, I figured I could simply be expressive, and this has always created some unique experiences.” —Fourth-year undergraduate, Northern Illinois University
Spend money at minority-owned businesses; hold institutions accountable (school administrations, local government, etc.), support programs and policies that serve communities of color, and rally around causes that are led by people of color. —Various students, various colleges and universities
“One time a girl straight up asked me, ‘What are you?’ And I was extremely hurt and offended because that was probably the worst way to ask the question, but I calmly answered, ‘I’m Puerto Rican and white.’” —Third-year undergraduate, University of WisconsinâStout
“Questions like ‘Where are you really from?,’ ‘Do you know your own language?,’ ‘Are all Asians like that?’” —Fourth-year undergraduate, Portland State University, Oregon
“It is perfectly natural to be curious about individuals whom we deem to be ‘unlike’ us,” says Dr. Shedd. “The easiest way to make sense of something unfamiliar is to organize the information into categories that are familiar. However, even if you are curious about someone’s racial/ethnic origin, religion, gender, sexual orientation, etc., you are not entitled to ask or assume information about someone’s personal identity.”
Ask yourself why this information feels important. If your goal is to make a connection, think about alternative ways to do that.
“When people of color are asked (both by white people and other people of color) where we are really from, the underlying assumption is often that we don’t actually belong,” says Lydia Brown, a graduate student at Northeastern University of Law, Massachusetts, and visiting lecturer at Experimental College, Tufts University, Massachusetts. “Try asking where someone grew up, or what city they consider home, which might prompt much more interesting answers anyway.”
“[I am asked] ‘So are you Muslim?’ when I tell them my nationality (Lebanese). I simply say ‘no’ and respond with the better question, [which] should have been, ‘What’s your religion?’” —Fourth-year undergraduate, University of Massachusetts Boston
“You already have a shared connection simply by virtue of attending the same school. You can use that to connect by sharing information about your intellectual interests, favorite course, etc. Then you can invite that person to do the same.” —Dr. Carla Shedd, assistant professor of sociology, Columbia University, New York
“Some simple conversation starters focus on similarities; e.g., ‘Would you mind if I sat with you? I don’t know many people in this class, so I thought I would say hello.’ Or, ‘I have the same textbook as you. What is your degree?’” —Fourth-year undergraduate, Trent University, Ontario
“Most people are happy to chat if you are respectful and enter with an open mind. If you make a mistake (an incorrect assumption or term), simply apologize and ask for clarification. Avoiding others because you are unknowledgeable will perpetuate the problems.” —Fifth-year undergraduate, University of Victoria, British Columbia
Students want to support each other meaningfully
Hereâs how 1,750 college students responded to our recent survey:
Code Switch on handling racial awkwardness [podcast]: Code Switch/NPR
What makes race to hard to talk about?: Quartz
Between the World and Me: Ta-Nehisi Coates/Penguin, 2015
How some POC combat STEM stereotypes: Al Jazeera
The danger of a single story : Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie/TED Talks
“Decoded” on race and pop culture [TV]: MTV
Common microaggressions explained: University of Minnesota
“Another Round” on race, gender, and pop culture [podcast]: Buzzfeed
Institutional racism is our way of life: US News & World Report
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Article sourcesLydia X Y Brown, race and disability activist, graduate student, Northeastern University School of Law, Massachusetts; visiting lecturer, Experimental College, Tufts University, Massachusetts.
Kerima Cevik, race and disability activist.
Keith Jones, President and CEO, SoulTouchin’ Experiences, Boston, Massachusetts.
Paul Kivel, social justice educator and antiviolence advocate; cofounder, Standing Up for Social Justice; cofounder, Oakland’s Men Project; author, Uprooting Racism (New Society Publishers, 2002) and other books.
Carla Shedd, PhD, assistant professor of sociology, Columbia University, New York.
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More than half of students involved in clubs, teams, and organizations experience hazing, according to StopHazing.org, a hazing prevention and research initiative based at the University of New Hampshire in Durham. Hazing is any activity associated with joining a group that involves degrading, abusive, risky, or illegal practicesâlike drinking games, sleep deprivation, paddling, or verbal abuse. Hazing has hit the headlines for causing physical and emotional harm (and, in some cases, death). Students with histories of mental health issues, abuse, and trauma are particularly vulnerable.
Student Health 101Â talked with Susan Lipkins, PhD, a psychologist and author of Preventing Hazing (2006).
