Reading Time: 7 minutes Here’s what can you do to foster a more positive and respectful campus culture.

Reading Time: 8 minutes Learn what you can do if you see someone experiencing unwanted pressure or harassment. Here are key strategies for bystander intervention.

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Most of us have witnessed online harassment. For that matter, most of us report that we’ve experienced it, according to surveys. Young adults are the most likely to be abused online. That experience can make it harder for students to attend class or concentrate on learning, according to a survey by Hollaback!, a coalition to prevent harassment. Online harassment can raise the risk of suicide in adults who are already experiencing emotional or situational stress, according to a 2011 study in Educational Leadership.

How can you respond if you or a friend is harassed online? How can you make sure your own online presence is positive? The prevalence of trolling, roasting, stalking, and other forms of harassment gives us all opportunities to intervene. Online behavior is contagious, studies show. We are all well positioned to model respectful behavior on social networks, influence a comment thread that’s veering toward abuse, and help build more positive online spaces in which everyone can participate freely. Leaders in the tech industry have our backs on this as they work to make online spaces more accommodating for all. For six steps to keeping the cyber-peace, see below. For resources and tools, see Get help or find out more. For guidance on how to argue constructively online and off, see Tame the tension: Science-backed ways to talk it out in this issue.[/vc_column_text][vc_tta_accordion shape=”square” c_icon=”chevron” active_section=”” collapsible_all=”true”][vc_tta_section title=”Is this harassment? What it looks like and how to know” tab_id=”1501702782877-15431f5c-f54f”][vc_column_text]Online harassment includes one-time incidents as well as cases of cyberbullying that unfold over months or years. It includes attacks based on race, ethnicity, gender, sexuality, religion, appearance, and more. Severe harassment online has been linked to notorious controversies, such as “GamerGate,” when harassers targeted women in the video game industry. In a polarized political environment that has seen documented increases in hate crimes, online harassment has made for alarming headlines, as when the writer Milo Yiannopoulos was banned from Twitter for inciting racist abuse.[/vc_column_text][vc_custom_heading text=”Online harassment takes various forms:” font_container=”tag:p|font_size:20|text_align:left|color:%23000000″ google_fonts=”font_family:Roboto%20Condensed%3A300%2C300italic%2Cregular%2Citalic%2C700%2C700italic|font_style:700%20bold%20regular%3A700%3Anormal”][vc_column_text]

• Trolling (sometimes called flaming) means posting comments with the intention of triggering distress in others.
• Roasting is a direct attack on another person’s view or position.
• Exclusion involves singling out someone and not letting them participate in group chats or threads, and/or making negative comments toward them.
• Harassment means repeatedly attacking a person, often by insulting their racial, ethnic, gender, sexual, or religious identity.
• Cyberstalking involves repeated, unwanted online contact with the purpose of tracking, threatening, or harassing someone.
• Doxing means using online sources to trace someone’s identity and gather information about them, then using that information to harm or harass the person.
• Outing involves the malicious release of personal and private information about a person.
• Masquerading means creating a fake identity in order to harass someone anonymously or impersonate someone else.

Quiz: Is it cyberbullying? (Affordable Colleges Online)[/vc_column_text][/vc_tta_section][vc_tta_section title=”Who is commonly harassed online?” tab_id=”1501702783048-d6ece98f-4712″][vc_column_text]Some communities are targeted by cyberbullying more frequently than others. Young people, women, and LGBT youth report especially high rates of harassment online. Here’s what that looks like:

• Two in three (65 percent) of young adult internet users (aged 18–29) have been the target of at least one of six identified types of online harassment, according to a 2014 study by the Pew Research Center.
• 10–28 percent of college students experience cyberbullying, according to an analysis of seven recent studies (Sage Open, 2014).
• Men seem more likely than women to report online harassment overall (44 percent versus 37 percent), especially name-calling, being purposefully embarrassed, and physical threats, according to the Pew study.
• Young women aged 18–24 seem more likely than other demographics to experience certain severe types of harassment. In the Pew survey, one in four young women had been stalked online, and the same proportion had been sexually harassed online.
• Sexual harassment in general is often targeted at women who are perceived to violate stereotypical gender norms, according to “The Sexual Harassment of Uppity Women,” a study in the Journal of Applied Psychology (2007). This finding helps explain the later “GamerGate” online abuse directed at women in the video game industry.
• LGBT youth are cyberbullied at significantly higher rates than their heterosexual peers, with 54 percent experiencing it within the past three months, according to a national study in the International Journal of Critical Pedagogy (2010).
• Disabled people are targeted for online abuse, though the current research is slight. A 2016 study involving 19 disabled people concluded that harassers targeted people with disabilities and the impact was more severe for reasons relating to the disabilities (Disability and Society). Grade-school students receiving special education services are more likely than their peers to report being victimized online, according to the Journal of Special Education (2013).

[/vc_column_text][/vc_tta_section][vc_tta_section title=”What’s at state with online harassment?” tab_id=”1501703308443-4a96dd7d-a6e8″][vc_column_text]Online harassment and cyberbullying have widespread and well-documented consequences. For example:

• Distress More than one in four people who’d experienced online harassment found it “extremely upsetting” or “very upsetting,” in the 2014 Pew survey.
• Isolation Students who experience online abuse report higher rates of isolation. One in four people harassed online withdrew from social media, the internet, or their phones as a result, according to a 2016 report by the Data & Society Research Institute.
• Emotional and behavioral health risks Children and teenagers who are cyberbullied or harassed online are nearly twice as likely as their peers to experience depression and substance abuse, a 2007 study in Child Maltreatment found. Cyberbullying negatively affects grade-school students’ school attendance and academic achievement, according to a 2012 study in the Journal of School Violence.
• Suicide risk Online harassment can raise adults’ suicide risk by exacerbating loneliness and hopelessness among those with preexisting stressors, according to Educational Leadership (2011). Among young teens, both the perpetrators and targets of cyberbullying are more likely than their peers to attempt suicide, the same study found.
• Censorship Online harassment appears to curtail free speech. One in four Americans censor themselves online out of fear of online harassment, Hack Harassment reports.

[/vc_column_text][/vc_tta_section][vc_tta_section title=”Why do some people harass others online?” tab_id=”1501703355886-30534274-5d75″][vc_column_text]Not all online harassers have antisocial traits such as lacking empathy. Even ordinary people (who don’t have personality issues) can be induced to troll in certain circumstances, researchers from Cornell University, New York, found. Here’s what can drive us to trolling:

• We’re in a bad mood (this helps explain why trolling intensifies late at night and on Mondays).
• We’re participating in a thread or conversation that started with a “troll comment” or in which trolling is already underway (the more trolling is happening already, the more likely we will troll too).

In the online environment, we can choose to be anonymous, a factor that lowers the behavioral bar. That can make it easier for even those of us who are generally well- intentioned to dish out sarcasm or insults, and disconnect from others’ feelings. In our survey, many students acknowledged that they’d done this and regretted it.

The research paints a predictably unflattering picture of some habitual online harassers. Perpetrators may be motivated by the following:

• A perceived way to stay popular Harassing others online may make the perpetrator feel powerful, and may be their response to low self-esteem, according to Delete Cyberbullying, a project aimed at parents and grade-school students.

• A sense of failure or threat In a 2010 study, men who harassed women players during a video game appeared to be less skilled at the game than their peers, according to a 2010 study in PLOS One.

• Low empathy In a 2014 study of college students, lower empathy toward others was associated with a higher likelihood of cyberbullying, according to Computers in Human Behavior.

• Other personality disorder traits Persistent trolling is associated with narcissism, a willingness to inflict harm, and a willingness to manipulate and deceive others, according to a 2014 study in Personality and Individual Differences.

• Anger toward victims Online stalking tends to be associated with the perpetrators’ distress and anger toward their targets (though personality issues can be a factor), a 2000 study in Aggression and Violent Behavior suggests.

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1. Set a respectful and considerate tone and standard

The majority of our online presence is communal. Every contribution we make adds to the overall tone of the online space. Kindness is contagious. By engaging respectfully with others, you reinforce the expectation that others do the same.

2. Practice engaging constructively on difficult or contentious topics

Disagreeing with a friend’s opinion or disputing someone’s argument is all well and good—depending on how we go about it. For a guide to constructive arguing and how to influence someone’s opinion, see Tame the tension: Science-backed ways to talk it out in this issue of SH101.

3. Apologize when it’s merited, even if your slight was unintentional

If you hear that you have hurt someone, apologize. Communicating digitally can sometimes obscure the very real three-dimensional people who are reading and hearing our words. It’s important to remember that, even in the midst of heated or highly charged conversations. If the platform allows you to delete, retract, or qualify a contentious comment, do so.

4. Ask for clarification if you need it

If you don’t know why what you said was hurtful, you can ask for clarification. To the best of your ability, do so with respect and compassion. You could say something like, “I’m sorry that I upset you with my comment. Could you tell me why that word is hurtful? I want to be sure I don’t make the same mistake again.”

5. Stay chill when you feel misunderstood

Resist calling people out personally with inflammatory and divisive terms. If you think a comment has racist or sexist implications, try assuming those were unintentional and pointing them out gently. By the same token, if you see yourself as a fair person and someone says that your comment was discriminatory, try to resist getting defensive. We are all coming from our own complex places. If you’ve asked for clarification and didn’t get it, reiterate that your intention was positive, and let it go.

6. Use the reporting tools

Platforms and sites rely on their users to report abusive or disrespectful behavior that violates community standards. You can help create a safer environment by reporting harassment and abuse when you see or experience it.

7. Use your moderator powers for good

If you’re the administrator or moderator of an online group, forum, or list, take initiative to set the tone for positive, respectful interactions. You can do so by:

• Establishing community standards or guidelines (pinning a post about rules to the top of a page helps reduce trolling, according to a 2016 experiment by r/science, a Reddit community)
• Creating a clear reporting structure for harassment or abuse
• Reaching out for help and support if you run into trouble
• Being open to feedback from your community and others

8. Support people and platforms doing good work

In recent years, the tech industry has been taking a more active approach to preventing and addressing cyberbullying and harassment. There are several great initiatives you can learn from and support, including:

Facebook’s Bullying Prevention Hub
This online resource, developed in partnership with the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, offers information on and strategies for addressing cyberbullying. It includes detailed and practical conversation starters and step-by-step plans for students, parents, and educators looking to address a bullying incident, whether they are speaking with the person being bullied or the person inflicting the bullying. This resource also offers concrete strategies for proactively preventing online harassment and cyberbullying.

Hack Harassment
This coalition, led by Intel, Vox Media, and Lady Gaga’s Born This Way Foundation, aims to build a more inclusive and supportive online community. You can get involved and commit to building that more inclusive and supportive online community through the Hack Harassment website. There, you can sign up to be a Campus Ambassador, host a #HackHarassment hackathon, or apply for a grant to fund your own harassment-hacking project.

People who are harassed online tend to turn to trusted friends, teachers, and family members for help, according to a 2012 study in the Journal of School Violence. Receiving support, both online and off, can have a tremendously positive impact on how someone copes with and responds to online harassment. Here’s how to go about it:

1. Think about what you can potentially accomplish

“Your goal might be to approach a friend involved in a bullying incident, but you don’t know how to approach them or what to say. Or you might choose to report something that you see online that seems unsafe for one of the people involved,” says Dr. Robin Stern, associate director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence at Yale University, Connecticut.

2. Reach out and offer support

You can reach out directly to the person experiencing harassment. Express your alarm at what’s happened and ask what you can do to help. Bear in mind that responding with emojis or “likes” can sometimes be misleading.

3.Add positive comments to a negative thread

If you see insults or attacks online—for example, against a writer discussing sexual violence—consider contributing some positive words. Offering encouragement and support is a simple way to mitigate the effect of online harassment. Manners (good and bad) are contagious. Modeling civility and constructive commentary online can potentially dissuade others from trolling, according to a 2017 study by researchers at Cornell University. That said…

4. Ask before you act on someone else’s behalf

If you want to confront the aggressor or request an apology on behalf of the person who’s been wronged, this is not a decision to make alone. Work with the targeted person and respect their wishes about how to proceed. They might prefer to not confront the aggressor, or to report the issue to the relevant site directly. Except for situations of acute danger, do not take action on their behalf if you have not been asked to do so.

5. Check in with your own feelings

“It is important to reflect on your own feelings before talking with someone affected by a bullying incident because you want to make sure that you are in a place where you can have that conversation,” says Dr. Stern. “If you yourself are emotionally activated, which is understandable and may well be the case, then you won’t be able to have that conversation from a place of calm. If you lower your own emotional activation, you are going to be able to more effectively help the person in the interaction regulate their own emotions.”

6. Seek support, off-line and on

“It is important to talk it through with someone you trust and who you believe is wise about this sort of thing. You might turn to a trusted peer or RA or dean who can help you think about how to approach the incident, depending on your goal,” says Dr. Stern. Tell someone you trust and who is in a position to help. Alternatively, you might report the incident to the site or platform, group administrator, or moderator. If someone is being harmed, about to be harmed, or threatening harm, take that seriously and get help immediately.[/vc_column_text][vc_tta_accordion shape=”square” c_icon=”chevron” active_section=”” collapsible_all=”true”][vc_tta_section title=”Is this harassment? What it looks like and how to know” tab_id=”1501703774364-60ace7e4-0c2c”][vc_column_text]Most online platforms give you tools to curate what content you see and with whom you interact online. Explore the options available to you and decide what you share online and who can see it. These approaches can help:[/vc_column_text][vc_custom_heading text=”Take advantage of customization tools” font_container=”tag:p|font_size:20|text_align:left|color:%23000000″ google_fonts=”font_family:Roboto%20Condensed%3A300%2C300italic%2Cregular%2Citalic%2C700%2C700italic|font_style:700%20bold%20regular%3A700%3Anormal”][vc_column_text]Online platforms frequently give you control over the level of connection you want to have with someone. You can choose to block content or people whose content you don’t want to see. On some platforms, this decision can be separate from whether you remain friends with those users (e.g., on Facebook you can unfollow a person’s posts without unfriending the person).[/vc_column_text][vc_custom_heading text=”Pick your friends” font_container=”tag:p|font_size:20|text_align:left|color:%23000000″ google_fonts=”font_family:Roboto%20Condensed%3A300%2C300italic%2Cregular%2Citalic%2C700%2C700italic|font_style:700%20bold%20regular%3A700%3Anormal”][vc_column_text]There is a lot to be said for trying to work through differences with people who hold varying opinions and making sure we’re exposed to viewpoints that are not the same as ours. However, if you are experiencing harassment from a user online, especially someone you don’t know or don’t have a strong relationship with off-line, you can choose to prevent that user from contacting you.[/vc_column_text][vc_custom_heading text=”Protect your privacy” font_container=”tag:p|font_size:20|text_align:left|color:%23000000″ google_fonts=”font_family:Roboto%20Condensed%3A300%2C300italic%2Cregular%2Citalic%2C700%2C700italic|font_style:700%20bold%20regular%3A700%3Anormal”][vc_column_text]Review your privacy settings on all social media. You have control over who sees your posts and what online activity is viewable to others.[/vc_column_text][vc_custom_heading text=”Consider making online magic” font_container=”tag:p|font_size:20|text_align:left|color:%23000000″ google_fonts=”font_family:Roboto%20Condensed%3A300%2C300italic%2Cregular%2Citalic%2C700%2C700italic|font_style:700%20bold%20regular%3A700%3Anormal”][vc_column_text]Several free software options and plugins allow you to make more customized and creative choices about what you see online. For example, Sweary mary is a Chrome Extension that replaces swear words with witty alternatives.[/vc_column_text][vc_custom_heading text=”Be aware that not all sites are created equal” font_container=”tag:p|font_size:20|text_align:left|color:%23000000″ google_fonts=”font_family:Roboto%20Condensed%3A300%2C300italic%2Cregular%2Citalic%2C700%2C700italic|font_style:700%20bold%20regular%3A700%3Anormal”][vc_column_text]Some platforms do a better job than others of giving their users the tools and support they need to have a safe and fulfilling online experience. As an informed user, you can decide which sites you want to trust with your time and information, and which you’d rather pass on.[/vc_column_text][/vc_tta_section][/vc_tta_accordion][vc_column_text]

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Bystander intervention is about the small things we all do for our friends and communities. When we see that someone is experiencing unwanted attention or pressure, we have a variety of ways we can check in: anything from a simple hello to a more creative disruption.

The best interventions happen early on—right when we notice that something is off, and well before a situation escalates. These interventions are easy, subtle, and safe. They help build a community that doesn’t tolerate casual disrespect and disregard, and prevent pressure and disrespect from escalating to coercion and violence.

How you choose to help others depends partly on your personality. To identify your own bystander style—direct, distraction, or stealth—check out each scenario. Keep track of your preferred responses and use them to score your answers.

1. At a house party, you notice someone from your physics class pulling a very drunk person into the bedroom where everyone dumped their coats. Do you…?

A.  Point this out to the host.
B.  Catch up with your classmate and offer to help with finding the drunk person’s friends or getting medical attention.
C.  Follow them into the room, ask if they’ve seen your coat, and describe it at length.

2. One of your classmates makes a rape joke. Some people laugh, while others look uncomfortable. The professor nods along. Do you….?

A.  Make a sympathetic face at the uncomfortable classmates and check in with them later.
B.  Roll your eyes and say, “Oh yeah, sexual violence is hilarious. But back to our discussion…”
C.  Talk to the professor after class and tell them the joke made you and others uncomfortable.

3. At an impromptu res hall party, you notice a guy looking uncomfortable about someone who is getting close and grinding on him. Do you…?

A.  Dance toward them and invite some friends to join the circle.
B.  “Accidentally” spill your drink on the handsy dancer.
C.  Sidle up to the iPod, interrupt the hip-hop playlist, blast the Game of Thrones theme song, and look as surprised as everyone else.

4. At morning practice, one of your teammates seems distracted. When you ask if everything is OK, your teammate shrugs and says, “Yeah, I just had a weird hookup last night.” Do you…?

A.  Say, “Weird how? Do you want to talk about it?” Suggest contacting your school’s counseling center, if that seems appropriate.
B.  Text your teammate’s best friend and suggest they get lunch together and check in.
C.  Make yourself available that day for Frisbee or a run with your teammate in case they want to talk.

5. Your roommate recently started dating Riley, who seems OK but is around an awful lot. Tonight, Riley came over while your roommate was out and hung around waiting. When your roommate finally got home, Riley said, “You’re back late. We should get to bed,” and disappeared into the bedroom. Your roommate stayed in the living room, making no moves to follow Riley. Do you…?

A.  Explain loudly that you’re having a personal crisis and need to talk to your roommate about it immediately.
B.  Ask your roommate to help you return some library books before midnight and use the walk over to check in about their relationship.
C.  Make a mental note to get some professional input on how to talk to your roommate about this new relationship, the next time you’re alone.

6. During a small get-together, your friend Alex, who’s been drinking a lot, gets a text from an ex: wanna come over? Alex hasn’t expressed any interest in getting back together with this ex, so you are surprised when Alex gets up to head over. Do you…?

A.  “Accidentally” spill water all over the floor. Ask Alex to help clean up and strike up a conversation about the text.
B.  Offer to walk Alex over, with another mutual friend; you’ll talk it through on the way.
C.  Hide Alex’s shoes, wait for Alex to notice they’re missing, and exclaim “That’s a sign! Why don’t you stay here?”

7. You and a couple of other Orientation Leaders are having lunch with a group of first-years. Everyone is bantering about their favorite football teams. Quinn is mostly silent and eventually says, “I’m not into sports much.” Jamie laughs and says, “What are you, gay?” Do you…?

A.  Say, “Thank you, Quinn! I’m so happy to have an ally at last in this football-fixated world. Perspective is everything.”
B.  Say, “We don’t say ‘gay’ disparagingly here,” and promptly change the subject.
C.  Check in with Quinn after lunch and ask one of the other Orientation Leaders to have a chat with Jamie.

Your score: What type of bystander are you?

Score your responses according to the table below. Note: There are no right or wrong answers, no better or worse answers. This quiz is about finding your bystander style.

What your score says about you

Score 17–21 This much is clear—you’re a direct interventionist

You’re comfortable changing the trajectory when something’s wrong—by being caring and upfront. Sometimes you call people out, knowing this is OK; you’re doing what seems right.

Score 12–16 What’s going on over there, distraction artist?

You’re great at subtly making space for others and changing the tone of an interaction. You’re skilled at getting silly or creative, and finding elegant ways to shift the mood and message.

Score 7–11 You’re a stealth operator (fine, we’ll keep that quiet)

You’re most comfortable working with other people, finding help, and following up. When you see something concerning, you’re building a team to tackle it or thinking about how you can help.

In the end, it doesn’t matter how you intervene as long as you do something. Checking in early enables you to keep things subtle and avoid putting yourself or others at risk. Creating and maintaining a healthy campus community means being aware of what’s happening around us, and saying and/or doing something when we see a situation that just doesn’t look or feel right.

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Going to a party? Or throwing one? Party-throwers and party-goers play a vital role in shaping the sexual culture of your campus. Party-throwers are the social engineers who design the spaces in which students meet, dance, talk, and sometimes drink or hook up. A well-planned environment helps everyone to make mindful decisions. And as a party guest, you can do a lot to make this easier for your host and more fun for yourself and others. Every time you demonstrate mutual respect, you reduce the likelihood of campus sexual assault and/or alcohol poisoning. Here’s how to throw a great party and be a great guest.

The minimum legal age for consuming alcohol in the US is 21.

INVITATION

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DESIGNATED GREETER

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CHECK IN WITH NEIGHBORS AND CAMPUS SECURITY

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DANCE SPACE & CHILL SPACE

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OFF-LIMITS AREA
& ISOLATED SPACE

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GET MEDICAL HELP IN CASE OF ALCOHOL POISONING & HANDLE DIFFICULT GUESTS

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WEAR SIGNATURE CLOTHING, CHECK IN ON GUESTS, & SUBTLY DISRUPT UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS

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BAR—IF YOU’RE SERVING ALCOHOL

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DESIGNATED SERVER

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NOTICE THE TONE, HOUSE RULES, & PLAN AHEAD

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TOUCH BASE WITH THE HOST

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WELCOME THE NEWBIES,
& SAY HI TO THE HOST

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RESPECT OTHER PEOPLE’S LIMITS – AND YOUR OWN

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LOOK OUT FOR YOURSELF AND OTHERS

+ More

 

IF YOU CHOOSE TO DRINK, DO SO MINDFULLY

+ More

 

CHECK IN AGAIN BEFORE YOU LEAVE

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FOLLOW UP

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Feel like throwing a party? If so, you’ll play an important role in shaping the social culture of your campus. Party throwers are the social engineers who design the spaces in which students meet, dance, talk, and sometimes drink or hook up. You can help build the campus you really want.

Party hosts are in a great position to help reduce the rates of campus sexual assault. Research consistently shows that sexual violence is not an isolated phenomenon; it occurs within a broader culture of pressure and disregard for others. By holding ourselves and each other to a higher standard, we can de-normalize the low-level disregard that is often a precursor to sexual violence. We should be concerned with pressure even when no one is out to cause harm, as we always deserve to have our boundaries and limits respected.

As a party thrower, you can create an environment that makes it easier for people to make mindful decisions in which mutual respect and recognition are the default. A great party involves thinking proactively about the kind of experience you want to create. What tone and vibe are you going for? How can you make sure your guests enjoy it? How can you arrange the space in ways that help people feel comfortable?

1. Talk it out

Get together with your roommates or cohosts and discuss your goals and responsibilities for the party:

• What do you want out of this event?
• If this party goes as well as it possibly could, what would that look like?
• What can help you get there?
• What might get in your way?
• What can you do to make space for people to participate in different ways? Of course you want your party to be fun, but fun means different things to different people.

If you’re throwing this party on behalf of a student organization or club, know your college’s policies, and consider opening up the conversation to all the members. Everyone should be on the same page about basic priorities. Think aloud about how those priorities align with your mission as a group. Also: Is this the first party you’re throwing with the newest members of your group? As seasoned members, you get to take the lead on modeling positive group dynamics: looking out for each other, treating guests with respect, and upholding your group’s values. Never throw a party in a shared home without your roommates’ agreement.

2. Set up thoughtfully

As you set up, consider how your guests will interact with the space throughout your party. Music and dance are staples of a great party. So are conversations and personal connections.

If you are setting aside a dance floor, make sure you also have a quieter, more well-lit space where your guests can cool off, catch their breath, and talk. You might stock this space with cold water bottles, snacks, softer music, and a fan. A setup that makes room for conversation will help your guests communicate more clearly. This is especially important if two people are considering going home together. They can take a break from the loud dance floor to check in about what they want to do next.

If there are isolated spaces in your party venue, decide whether or not to keep them open and accessible. If you do, assign someone the task of checking in on those spaces during the party.

When you’re putting together the playlist or choosing entertainers or DJs, think about how well they fit your values and priorities for the event.

3. Welcome to the party!

Make a plan for how you will welcome your guests, help them feel comfortable, and check in on them throughout the party. As hosts, you will be especially attuned to the general mood. You can make the rounds, introduce people, and troubleshoot issues as they come up.

Hosts are well positioned to step in if they notice uncomfortable dynamics, like a guest experiencing unwanted attention or someone pressuring others to drink. It’s your party—you can check in whenever you notice something, no matter how small. The most effective interventions happen early, when (in many cases) they can be subtle.

Consider signaling who is hosting the party. Wear a signature piece of clothing, a vivid color, or silly hat. This helps guests know where to turn if anything comes up. They may need directions to the bathroom,  escape from someone who is making them uncomfortable, or help turning away someone at the door or seeking medical attention for a friend who has overdone it.

If a large group is throwing the party, consider trading off “hosting duties” over the course of the evening.

4. Can I offer you a drink?

If you intend to serve alcohol, come up with a plan for how you will keep your guests safe. Do your best to create an environment in which everyone can make mindful, deliberate choices about whether they want to drink and how much. Alcohol does not cause sexual violence, but it can make people more vulnerable to pressure or coercion (and sexual aggressors may deliberately use it this way). A successful party does not have to involve alcohol. Always provide plenty of non-alcoholic beverages. The legal age for drinking alcohol is 21.

Rather than leaving alcohol around for people to serve themselves, it’s worth assigning a couple of people that task. Here’s why this helps:

• Designated servers can mix tasty cocktails that complement the party theme, or just serve beer or wine.
• Designated servers are careful to measure and not over-pour drinks—a task that is infinitely more difficult for your distracted guests, who may have already been drinking.
• Designated servers can keep an eye out, noticing who has had too many drinks, who needs a glass of water, and who needs to switch to something nonalcoholic.
• For guests, this setup makes drinking an active choice rather than a default. It’s easier for people to count their drinks over the course of the evening.

Spot signs of trouble: Take a moment to familiarize yourself with the medical response resources available on your campus or in your community. If everything goes according to plan, your guests won’t need to use them.
Any of the following symptoms indicates alcohol poisoning. Call for medical help immediately:

• Can’t walk unassisted
• Unconscious and unresponsive
• Vomiting continuously
• Clammy skin or slow breathing

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